1 Mother and Son
Mommy: Denny, have you given the goldfish fresh water today?
Denny: No, they haven’t finished what I gave them yesterday.
母與子
媽媽：丹尼，今天你給金魚加新水了嗎？
丹尼：沒有，昨天我給它們的水還沒喝完呢。
2 Why Is He Crying
Mum: Why are you crying?
Henry: I cleaned the bird cage and the canary disappeared.
Mum: How did you clean it?
Henry: With a vacuum cleaner, mum.
他為什麼哭
媽媽：你為什麼哭啊？
享利：我剛才打掃鳥籠來著，金絲雀不見了。
媽媽：你怎麼打掃的鳥籠？
享利：用吸塵器，媽媽。
3 Is It a Good Way
“John, I hear you’ve been fighting with one of those boys next door and have given him a black eye. ”
“Yeah. You see, they are twins and I have to find some way to tell them apart. ”
是好辦法嗎
“約翰，聽說你一直在和隔壁家的一個小男孩打架，還把他眼睛打黑了。”
“對呀，他們是雙胞胎，我想找個辦法把他們區分開。”
4 Why Is Your Face So Red
Mother: Jim, why is your face so red?
Jim: I was running up the street to stop a fight.
Mother: That's a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?
Jim: Gaby and me.
你的臉為什麼那麼紅
媽媽：“吉姆，你的臉為什麼那麼紅？”
吉姆：“我剛才在大街上跑，為的是阻止一次打架。”
媽媽：“你做得對，是誰和誰在打架？”
吉姆：“加比和我。”
5 A Clever Girl
After supper, father took his little daughter Iris to go out for a walk. Before they left, Iris said to her father,“Daddy, please take some chocolates with you in case I cry on the way. ”
聰明的小女孩
晚飯後，爸爸帶著小女兒艾麗絲出去散步。出門前，愛麗絲對爸爸說：“爸爸，請您帶上些巧克力吧，以防我在路上哭鬧。”
6 A Good Box of Matches
Mother sent Jenny to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches．When Jenny came back mother asked her,“Did you buy a good box of matches?”
“Yes, mum．”Jenny replied,“I have tried them all．”
一盒好火柴
媽媽讓詹妮去馬路對麵的商店裏買一盒好用的火柴。詹妮回來後，媽媽問：“你買的是好用的火柴嗎？”
“是的，媽媽。”詹妮回答，“我把它們都試過了。”
7 It Was Fine This Morning
Denny’s father rushed out of the bathroom waving his shaving brush.
“This thing’s useless!”he complained,“I can’t shave with it. ”
“That’s funny. ”said Denny,“It was fine this morning when I washed my bike with it. ”
今天早晨還好著呢
丹尼的爸爸揮動著手裏的修麵刷從浴室裏衝了出來。
“這個東西真是沒用。”他埋怨說，“根本不能修臉。”
“真有意思，”丹尼說，“我今天早晨用它刷我的自行車時它還好好的呢。”
8 I Need His Football
Kevin knocked on the door of his friend’s house. When his friend’s mother answered, he asked,“Can Mickey come out to play?”
“No,”said the mother. “it’s too cold. ”
“Well, then,”said Kevin,“can his football come out to play?”
我需要他的足球
凱文敲著他朋友家的門。當朋友的媽媽來開門時，他問：“米奇可以出來玩嗎？”
“不行，”那位媽媽說，“天氣太冷了。”
“噢，那麼，”凱文說，“他的足球可以出來玩嗎？”
9 What do They Eat
Two little boys were watching the sparrows eating food at a bird table.
One of them asked,“I wonder what they eat when they can’t find food on the bird table.”
“They eat what they can find. ”replied the other.
“What happens when they can’t find anything?”
“Then they can eat something else.”
吃什麼
兩個小男孩在看麻雀們吃食。
其中一個問：“我想知道它們在那上麵找不著東西時吃什麼呢？”
“吃它們能找到的東西。”另一個答道。
“要是它們什麼也沒有找到呢？”
“那它們就吃別的食物唄。”
10 A Boy with a Big Head
A boy cried to his mother,“All the children make fun of me. They say I have a big head. ”
“Don’t listen to them, ”his mother said,“you have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store to buy twenty pounds of potatoes. ”
“Where is the shopping bag?”
“I haven’t got one—use your hat. ”
大頭娃娃
一個小男孩對他媽媽哭訴：“所有的孩子都取笑我，他們說我有一個大腦袋。”
“別聽他們瞎說，”他媽媽說，“你有一個漂亮的腦袋。現在，別哭了，去商店買20磅土豆吧。”
“購物袋呢？”
“沒有——就用你的帽子吧。”
11 A Good Boy
Little Mike asked his mother for five cents.“What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?”asked the mother.
“I give it to a poor old woman.”he answered.
“You’re a good boy,”said the mother proudly.“Here are five cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?”
“She is the one who sells the candy.”
好孩子
小麥克問媽媽要五分錢。“昨天給你的錢呢？”媽媽問道。
“我給一個可憐的老太太了。”小麥克回答。
“好孩子，”媽媽自豪地說，“再給你五分錢。但是為什麼你對那個老太太這麼感興趣呢？”
“她那兒賣糖。”
12 Where Is the Father
Two sister were looking at some beautiful paintings.
“Look.”said the elder sister,“How nice these paintings are!”
“Yes,”said the younger,“but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?”
The elder sister thought for a moment and then explained,
“Obviously he was painting the pictures. ”
爸爸在哪兒
姐妹倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。
“看，”姐姐說，“這些畫多漂亮呀！”
“是啊，”妹妹說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，隻有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢？”
姐姐想了會兒，然後解釋道：“很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。”
13 I Just Showed Him
A week before his birthday, Mrs. Rose bought her son Paul a new bicycle and hid it in the shed.
“Now Nacy,”she said to his sister,“don’t go telling Paul about his present. ”
The next day, Paul said to his mother,“I like the new bicycle, mum!”
Mrs. Nacy was furious with Nacy. “I thought I told you not to tell him. ”she said.
“I didn’t, ”said Nacy. “I showed him. ”
我隻是讓他看了看
羅絲太太在她的兒子保羅生日的前一個星期給他買了一輛新自行車，並把它藏在車棚裏。
“聽著，南茜，”她對保羅的妹妹說，“別告訴保羅這件禮物的事兒。”
第二天，保羅對他媽媽說：“我非常喜歡這輛新自行車，媽。”
羅絲太太非常生氣地對南茜說：“不是告訴你別跟他說這件事嗎？”
“我沒有跟他說。”南茜說，“我隻是讓他看了看。”
14 List Your Sins
Because the younger children at our parochial school often forget their sins when they entered our confessional, I suggested the teacher have our students make lists. The next week when one student came to the confession, I could hear him unfolding paper. The youngest began,“I lied to my parents, I disobeyed my mother, I fought with my brother and... ”There was a long pause. Then a small, angry voice said,“Hey, this isn’t my list！”
列出你的過錯
由於我們教區學校的孩子們在進入懺悔室的時候經常會忘掉自己的過錯，我建議老師們讓學生列個小條。第二周，當一個學生來到懺悔室的時候，我可以聽見他打開紙條的聲音。最小的孩子開始懺悔了：“我騙了我爸爸媽媽，我沒聽媽媽的話，我和哥哥打架了……”停了很長一段時間，我們聽到他用很小卻憤怒的聲音：“嗨，這不是我的紙條！”
15 God’s Creations
Grandpa and granddaugher were sitting talking when she asked,“Did God make you, Grandpa?”
“Yes, God made me.”the grandfather answered.
A few minutes later, the little girl asked him,“Did God make me too?”
“Yes, he did.”the old man answered.
For a few minutes, the little girl seemed to be studying her grandpa, as well as her own reflection in the mirror, while her grandfather wondered what was running through her mind.