十二、2008年寫作真題高分作文及講解
Part A
高分作文
Dear Bob,
I am writing to make an apology to you for I forgot to return a music CD which Iborrowed from you last week. Yesterday I have come back from Canada and I foundit in my luggage. I am so sorry that you cannot listen to it at present.
The CD which I borrowed from you is made in Canada, so I believe you can findanother one in your local store. How about your buying another CD by yourselfand I will pay for it? If you cannot find the similar one, I would send it backto you through a post office. And if there are any other solutions you like,please let me know.
I am sorry again for my careless. Looking forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming
參考譯文
鮑勃:
由於我忘記歸還上周向你借的一張音樂CD,特此寫信表示道歉。昨天我已從加拿大回來,並在行李中發現了這張CD。非常抱歉你現在沒法聽它了。
我向你借的這張CD是加拿大製造的,因此我相信你在當地商店可以找到另外一張。你自己再買一張CD,我付給你錢如何?如果你無法找到相同的CD,我可以通過郵局把它寄給你。如果你傾向於任何其他解決辦法,請告訴我。
再次為我的粗心表示道歉。期待著你的回信。
您真誠的,李明
高分作文詳解
本文是2008年教育部公布的當年唯一一篇9分小作文,也是2008年小作文的“寫作狀元”。該信很好地完成了試題規定的任務,既簡明地陳述了自己的失誤,又提出了兩個解決辦法。內容要點完整,層次清晰,語氣得體,格式恰當,符合語域要求。但也有少數的語法錯誤,如:YesterdayI have come back from Canada...
本文共三段、九句,130詞,使用了八個從句。首段共三句,首句開門見山,表明了書信的寫作目的,同時展開第一點提綱——表示道歉,使用了表示道歉的經典句型I amwriting to make an apology to you for...首句中出現了原因狀語從句、定語從句等語法現象。尾句使用了結果狀語從句。
第二段共四句,提出兩點建議。首句使用了定語從句、被動語態和賓語從句;三、四兩句出現了條件狀語從句、定語從句和倒裝句。
尾段共兩句,首句再次表示道歉,呼應首段的寫作目的,美中不足的是:careless應改為carelessness。尾句期待回信。值得注意的是,由於該信是寫給房東的私人書信,作者有意使用了pleaselet me know和looking forward to your reply兩個省略句,符合大綱對於語域和文體的要求。
全文用詞非常簡單,基本以中學詞彙為主。這再次證明了隻要語言正確、結構嚴謹、不跑題,就可以取得考研小作文的高分。
Part B
高分作文
19分作文樣例
As is vividly depicted in the picture, two disabled men are running fast throughteamwork although each of them has only one leg. Obviously, it is teamwork thatmakes it possible for them to go anywhere they want to.
Simple as it is, what the picture conveys to us is thought-provoking. With thedevelopment of economy and society, competition is increasingly fierce. It isimpossible for anyone to finish a work all by himself. Hence, people in mountingnumbers put great emphasis on teamwork. In fact, it has been universallyacknowledged that the ability of teamwork is the most essential qualificationthat anyone who wants to achieve success should possess.
Accordingly, it is imperative for us to take some measures to enhance the senseof teamwork in our society. We should bear in mind that teamwork is of greatsignificance to both our society and ourselves. Every one should have theability of teamwork. Only in this way can we achieve success and only in thisway can our society become more harmonious to live in.
參考譯文
畫中生動所示,盡管每人隻有一條腿,但是兩個殘疾人通過團隊合作正在快速奔跑。顯而易見,正是合作才使得他們走南闖北成為可能。
盡管這幅圖畫很簡單,但它向我們表達了發人深省的含義。隨著經濟和社會的發展,競爭日漸激烈。任何人都無法獨立完成一份工作。因此,越來越多的人開始重視團隊合作。事實上,人們公認合作能力是想要獲得成功的人都應該具備的最重要的素質。
因此,我們迫切需要采取措施來提高人們的合作意識。我們應該牢記合作對社會和自身都非常重要。每個人都應擁有合作能力。隻有這樣我們才能獲得成功,而且隻有這樣社會才能變得更加和諧。
高分作文詳解
本文是2008年教育部公布的當年唯一一篇19分大作文,也是2008年大作文的“寫作狀元”。該文首先描述了圖畫的內容,並解讀了圖畫的深刻寓意,然後就此發揮,提出在競爭日益激烈的今天,團隊精神是取得成功的保證,因此是當今成功人士的重要素質。最後,文章提出我們應該采取措施發揮合作精神,也隻有這樣才能取得成功,構建和諧社會。文章思路清晰、連貫,句式結構變化多樣,短語的搭配和使用恰當;能使用排比句進行強調,能正確使用過渡性詞語,語言流暢,錯誤極少。作者詞彙量大,詞彙使用較準確。文章字數達到要求,是一篇優秀的作文。