A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker.
“Attention, passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a result. ”
Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain’s voice aga‐ in,“Guess what, folks. We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late. ”
At this point, one passenger became furious.“For Pete’s sake. ”he shouted.“If we lose another engine, we’ll be up here all night!”
隻剩一個引擎
一架747客機正在跨越大西洋時，喇叭裏傳來了機長的聲音：“旅客們請注意，我們的四個引擎中有一個丟失了。但剩下的三個引擎會把我們帶到倫敦的。隻是我們要因此晚到一小時。”
過了一會兒，旅客們又聽到機長的聲音：“各位，你們猜怎麼啦？我們剛又掉了第三個引擎。但請你們相信好了，隻有一個引擎我們也能飛，但要晚三個小時了。”
正在這時，一位乘客非常氣憤地說：“看在上帝的份上，如果我們再掉一個引擎，我們就要整夜都呆在天上了。”
22 The Poem Was Stolen
One evening a young man at Oxford who was known to be something of a poet read one of his poems to a small group of friends in his room. The poem was greatly admired, but as they came away, one of the friends, Glen, said, I was very much interested in Alfred’s poem but it was stolen from a book. ”
This remark was repeated to Alfred, who was very annoyed and demanded an apology.
“Well,”said Glen,“I don’t often take back what I have said, but on this occasion I admit I was mistaken. When I returned to my room I looked in the book from which I thought the poem was stolen and I found it was still there. ”
偷詩
一天晚上，牛津大學一位有點詩才的年輕人在他的房間裏給幾個朋友念他寫的一首詩，他這首詩大受稱讚。但是，他們離開後，一個名叫格林的朋友說：“我對阿爾弗雷德的詩非常感興趣，但他這是從一本書上偷來的。”
這話傳到了阿爾弗雷德那裏，他非常氣惱，要求格林道歉。
“噢，”格林說，“我說出去的話通常不會收回，但這次我承認是我錯了。我以為他從那本書裏偷走了這首詩，但等我回到房間看那本書時，發現那首詩還在那裏。”
23 Tossing the Coin
A beautiful girl reports for her University Final Examination that consists of Y／N‐type questions.
She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the questions paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet. Heads for Y and tails for N.
Within half an hour she finishes her paper whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, she is desperately throwing the coin.
The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on.
“I finished the exam in half an hour. But,”she says,“I’m rechecking my answers. ”
擲硬幣
一個漂亮的女孩參加大學期末考試，試題均為是非題。
她在考場座位上坐下來，盯著考題看了5分鍾，隨後突然靈機一動，拿出錢夾，掏出一枚硬幣，然後一邊拋硬幣，一邊填寫答題紙。硬幣正麵朝上填“對”，反麵朝上填“錯”。
她不到半小時就做完了考題，而其他考生正在吃力地答題。在最後幾分鍾，她又在拚命擲硬幣。
監考老師對她的行為提高了警惕，走到她跟前，問發生了什麼事兒。
“我半小時就做完了。不過，”她說，“我正在複查答案。”
24 My First and My Last
When George was thirty‐two, he bought a small plane and learned to fly it. He soon became very good and made his plane do all kinds of tricks.
George had a friend. His name was Mark. One day George offered to take Mark up in his plane. Mark thought,“I’ve travelled in a big plane several times, but I’ve never been in a small one, so I’ll go.”
They went up, and George flew around for half an hour and did all kinds of tricks in the air.
When they came down again, Mark was very glad to be back safely, and he said to his friend in a shaking voice,“Well, George, thank you very much for those two trips in your plane.”
George was very surprised and said,“Two trips ？”
“Yes, my first and my last. ”answered Mark.
第一次與最後一次
喬治三十二歲時買了架小型飛機，並開始學習駕駛。不久，他就能很嫻熟地駕機做各種各樣的特技飛行了。
喬治有個朋友名叫馬克。一天，喬治主動邀請馬克乘他的飛機上天兜一圈。
馬克心想：“我乘大客機飛行過好幾次，還從來沒有乘過小飛機，我不妨試一試。”
升空後，喬治飛了有半個小時，在空中做了各種各樣的飛行特技。
後來他們著陸了，馬克很高興能夠安全返回地麵。他用顫抖的聲音對他的朋友說：“喬治，非常感謝你讓我乘小飛機做了兩次飛行。”
喬治非常吃驚地問：“兩次飛行？”
“是的，我的第一次和最後一次。”馬克答道。
25 Pay As Little As Possible
A businessman, who always tried to pay as little as possible for what he needed, felt ill one day. He decided to go to a doctor and asked a friend to recommend one.
“Dr. Smith has a good reputation. ”the friend told him.
“Is he expensive？”the businessman asked.
“Yes and no.He charges fifty dollars for the first visit, but only twenty dollars for each visit after that.”
“That seems reasonable. ”the businessman said, and went to visit Dr. Smith. As he walked into the consulting room, he said,“Well, here I am again, doctor, ”and put twenty dollars on the table.
The doctor looked at him carefully for a moment, then smiled and put the money into the drawer of this desk.“Thank you, ”he said,“And what can I do for you today？”
“Examine me, of course, ”the businessman said,“and tell me what’s wrong with me.”
“Oh, there’s no need for me to examine you again.”the doctor said,“Just continue taking the medicine I prescribed for you when you came to see me last time.”
省錢
一個商人總是想方設法為他需要的東西省錢。有一天，他突
然病了，決定去看醫生，便請一位朋友給他推薦一位。
“史密斯大夫聲望不錯。”朋友對他說。
“他收費高嗎？”商人問道。
“高，但也可以說不算高。他第一次看病收費50美元，以後每次看病隻收二十美元。”
“聽起來很合理。”商人說，然後就去史密斯大夫那裏了。走進診所時，他說：“噢，我又來了，大夫。”然後將二十美元放在了桌子上。
醫生仔細看了他一會兒，然後麵帶微笑，將錢放進了辦公桌抽屜裏，說：“謝謝，你今天看什麼病？”
“當然是給我檢查了，”商人說，“給我看看得了什麼病。”
“噢，我沒必要再給你檢查了，”醫生說，“請繼續吃你上次來時我給你開的藥吧。”