小布什總統的口誤
英國女王伊麗莎白二世和菲利普王子造訪美國，並參加由布什總統舉行的歡迎儀式。大約七千多人參加了這個歡迎儀式，其中包括美國國會議員、高級行政官以及英國外交官。在致歡迎辭時，布什又犯了口誤的毛病：“美國人民為女王陛下的蒞臨感到無比榮幸，相信女王陛下對美國也十分了解了。”布什說：“您已經和十位美國總統共進過晚餐，在您的幫助下，我們國家慶祝了兩百周年的國慶，在17世紀……在1976年。”
聽到這種口誤，在場的所有人都笑了。布什停了停，看了看女王，過一會兒，他說：“女王陛下看了我一眼，是那種隻有母親在孩子犯錯時才會露出的神情。”聽完這些話，台下爆發出了更加熱烈和響亮的笑聲。
11 Neither Am I the Vice President
Being caught in the protracted war for Democratic candidate for presidant, Hillary team had shown that they were willing to accept Obama to be her deputy for the president. As to Hillary’s kindness, Obama refused again on March 10.
During the presidential campaign , Hillary blamed Obama for his being inexperienced and he was not fit to be the president of the United States. To his surprise, Hillary invited him to be her deputy and he found opportunitg to take revenge on her, he said,“Now that you have said that I am not fit to be President, how do you know I am fit to be the Vice President now？”What he said caused a roar of laughter in the audience.“I really can’t understand that. ”He added,“As you know, her husband Bill Clinton once said that it was very important for the Vice President to well prepare to be the commander in chief. ”
奧巴馬不適合做副總統
主黨總統候選人之爭已經陷入持久戰之時，希拉裏陣營已經明確表示想接受奧巴馬做她的競選副手。但是在3月10日，奧巴馬再次拒絕了希拉裏的美意。
在競選總統的選戰中，希拉裏曾指責奧巴馬經驗不足，認為他不適合做總統。而出乎他的意料，希拉裏竟然邀請奧巴馬做她的助手，他因此有了報複希拉裏的機會。奧巴馬說：“既然你曾經說過我不適合做總統，那你又為什麼認為我現在適合做一個副總統呢？”他的話在民眾中引起了一陣哄笑。“我是真的不明白，”他又說，“眾所周知，你的丈夫克林頓曾經說過，對副總統而言，做好擔任總司令的準備很重要。”
12 Have No More Room for a Vice President
Thomas Jefferson was the 3rd President of the United States. One day, he went to Baltimore by himself and wanted to book a room in a hotel. Because of Jefferson’s ordinary and dirty clothes, the manager wasn’t willing to receive him. So he made an excuse that there was no rooms available and Jefferson had to leave the hotel.
After he left the hotel, someone told the manager,“The man you just banished was Jefferson, the Vice President of the United States. ”
Under the state of some trepidation, the manager asked his servant to find Jefferson and told him that he could arrange no matter how many rooms he wanted. But Jefferson had booked a room in another hotel and he said to the servant,“Please tell your manager, I really appreciate his kindness. Now that he has no room for all ordinary people who wears work clothes, so he would have no more room for a vice president. ”
副總統沒有客房住
托馬斯·傑弗遜是美國的第三任總統。一天，他自己去巴爾的摩，想在旅館定一個房間。但是由於傑弗遜穿得普普通通，而且衣服還有點兒髒亂，旅館經理不願讓他住，就找了個借口說沒有空房了，傑弗遜不得不離開旅館。
傑弗遜走後，有人告訴那個經理：“你剛剛拒絕的那個人是美國的副總統傑弗遜。”
經理害怕極了，讓他的仆人去找到傑弗遜並告訴傑弗遜無論他要多少房間經理都能安排。但是傑弗遜當時已經在另外一個旅館訂到了房間，他對來的仆人說：“請告訴你們的經理，我很感激他的好心。但既然對於一個身著工作服的普通人來說那裏沒有房間，那同樣對一個副總統來說也應該沒有房間。”
13 President Reagan and Republicans
President Reagan was shot by a young man while he was walking out of Hilton Hotel, in Washiegton Match on 30, 1981. Reagan, wounded in the breast, was sent to the nearest hospital as soon as possible. Before he was sent into the operation room by the doctors and nurses, he said, with a smile,“Please assure me that all of you are Republicans. ”“Mr. President, all of us are kind Republicans. ”
The next day after the operation. Reagan said with confidence, “I’m sure that I will recover soon.”And the nurse answered,“Yes, Mr. President. Just stick in, and you will get well soon. ”Reagan pretended to be frightened and asked,“You mean that this will happen again and again？ ”
One day, he saw that a crowd including doctors and nurses surrounding him, he said,“I won’t withdraw from the film industry if I was conspicuous in Hollywood as now.”and all the doctors and nurses were amused by what he said.
裏根總統與共和黨人
1981年3月30日，裏根總統在走出華盛頓的希爾頓飯店時，被一個年輕人用手槍擊中。他的胸口受傷了，立即被送到了附近的醫院。在他被醫生、護士推進手術室之前，他笑著說道：“請向我保證你們都是共和黨人。”“總統先生，我們都是友好的共和黨人。”
手術後的第二天，裏根總統自信地說：“我確定我不久就會康複。”護士回答：“是的，總統先生，請堅持住，您馬上就會痊愈了。”裏根馬上假裝害怕的說道：“你的意思是說這種情況還會一而再再而三地發生嗎？”
一天，裏根看到包括醫生和護士在內的一大群人都圍著他，他說：“如果當初在好萊塢也有這麼多人關注我的話，我就不會退出電影界了。”在場所有的醫生和護士都被總統的幽默給逗笑了。
14 Questions or George Bush
George Bush goes to a primary school to talk the war. After his talk offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George Bush asks him what his name is.
“And what is your question, Billy？ ”
“I have 3 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of UN？ Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes？ And third, what happened to Osama Bin Laden？”
Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess. When they resume George says,“OK, where we？ Oh, that’s right question time. Who has a question？”
Another little boy puts up his hand, George points him out and asks him what his name is.
“Steve.”
“And what is your question, Steve？ ”
“I have 5 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of UN？ Second, why are you president when Al Gore got more votes？ And third, what happened to Osama Bin Laden？ Fourth, why did the recess bell off 20 minutes early？ And fifth, what happened to Billy？”
向布什總統提問題
喬治·布什到一所小學談論戰爭問題。談話結束後，他為孩子們留出了提問時間。一個小男孩舉起了手，然後布什問他叫什麼名字。
“比利。”
“那你想問些什麼呢，比利？”
“我有三個問題。第一，為什麼沒有得到聯合國的支持，美國依然進攻伊拉克？第二，為什麼阿爾·戈爾的票數更多而你卻當選為總統？第三，本·拉登怎麼了？”
就在這時，下課鈴聲響了。布什告訴孩子們休息完後再繼續。重新開始時，布什說：“好的，我們剛才說到哪了？哦，到提問時間了，誰有問題？”
另外一個小男孩舉起了手，布什點到他並問他叫什麼名字。
“史蒂夫。”
“史蒂夫，你想問些什麼呢？”
“我有五個問題。首先，為什麼沒有得到聯合國的支持美國就進軍伊拉克了？第二，為什麼阿爾·戈爾的票數更多而你卻當選為總統？第三，本·拉登怎麼了？第四，為什麼休息鈴聲提前二十分鍾就響了？第五，比利出什麼事了？”
15 Clinton’s Tragedy
One day, Bill Clinton paid a visit to an school. He asked the students whether someone could give him an example of tragedy. Then a little boy volunteered，“For example, if a friend of mine is playing in the street, just then a car comes along and he is killed in the collision. That is a tragedy.”“No,”Clinton said,“this is only a traffic accident.”A moment later, a girl put up her hand up and said,“If a bus with 50 students in run off a cliff and no one survives, I think this is a tragedy.”Clinton explained,“I am sorry, it should be regarded as a great loss.”
There was a moment of dead silence. Clinton broke the silence and asked,“What？ Still no one could give me an example of tragedy？”At this moment, a little boy in the back row put his hand up and said in a timorous tone,“If a plane carrying Hillary Clinton and Bill Clinton blows up by time bomb, this is a tragedy.”
“Bravo!”Clinton face broke out into a smile,“Brilliant! Could you please tell me why this is a tragedy？”“Because it is neither a traffic accident not a great loss.”the boy said.
克林頓的悲劇
一天，克林頓來到一所學校進行訪問。他問誰能給他舉一個悲劇的例子。這時一個小男孩舉手：“比如說，我的一個朋友正在街上玩，突然過來一輛車把他撞死了，這是個悲劇。”“不，”克林頓說，“這隻是個交通事故。”一會兒，一個小姑娘舉手說：“一輛載有五十個學生的公共汽車摔下了懸崖，無人生還，我覺得這是一個悲劇。”克林頓解釋道：“很抱歉，這更應該算是一個巨大的損失。”
接下來是一陣死寂，克林頓打破了沉默，說：“怎麼，還是沒有人能給我舉個悲劇的例子嗎？”就在這時，一個坐在後排的小男孩舉起了手，小心翼翼地說：“如果一架載著克林頓和希拉裏的飛機被一顆定時炸彈炸了，這算是一個悲劇吧。”
“妙！”克林頓臉上露出了笑容，“好極了，你能說一下為什麼這算是一個悲劇嗎？”男孩說：“因為這既不是一場交通事故，也不算一個巨大的損失。”