“我們知道是這樣。”朋友回答說，“可是他為什麼讓你走？”
“嫉妒唄。”大衛回答，“因為別的工人都以為我是領班。”
Bobby tore his trousers while climbing a tree.His mother told him to take them off so that she could mend them.“And you can stay in your room until dinner time.”she said.
A little while later, she heard a noise in the garden.Thinking that Bobby had disobeyed her, she called out,“You bad boy, are you running out there without any trousers？”
A man’s deep voice came from the side of the house,“No，madam. I’ve just come to clean you windows.”
粗心的媽媽
鮑比爬樹時把褲子掛壞了。他的媽媽讓他把褲子脫下來把它縫好。“你一直待在你的屋子裏到吃晚飯。”她說。
不一會兒，花園裏傳來一片嘈雜聲。媽媽以為是鮑比沒有聽她的話，於是就喊道：“你這個不聽話的孩子，是不是沒穿褲子就跑出去了？”
這時一個低沉的男聲從房子的另一邊傳來：“不是的，太太，我隻是來給您清洗窗戶。”
Nights in England are coal black, making parachute jumps difficult and dangerous. So we attach small lights called Chemlites to our jumpsuits to make ourselves visible to the rest of our team. Late one night, lost after a practice jump, we knocked on the door of a small cottage. When a woman answered, she was greeted by the sight of five men festooned in glowing Chemlites.“Excuse me,”I said,“can you tell me where we are？”In a thick English accent, the woman replied,“Earth. ”
地球
英國的夜晚是漆黑的，使得跳傘既困難又危險。因此，我們在每個人的傘具上綁一個小小的化學燈，使我們能互相看得見。一天深夜，我們在跳傘演習之後迷了路，就去敲一家農舍的門。一個婦人來應門，看到五個點綴著閃光化學燈的人。我說：“對不起，你能不能告訴我這是什麼地方？”婦人用濃重的英國口音說：
“地球。”
Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. When I pushed a wheelchair to the ward, I found a gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet. He insisted he didn’t need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
On the way there asked if his wife was meeting him.“I don’t know, ”he said,“she’s still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.”
誰是病人
醫院規定要用輪椅將病人送出院。當我把輪椅推進病房的時候，發現一位紳士已經穿好衣服，坐在床邊，腳邊放了一個手提箱。他堅持說他不需要我的幫助就可以離開醫院，但我跟他說病人必須遵守規定，於是他很不情願地讓我用輪椅把他送到了電梯口。
在路上，我問他的太太會不會來接她。他說：“我不知道，她還在樓上的廁所裏換下病號服呢。”
Donald woke up in the middle of the night and saw some white in his garden. It seemed to be moving towards he house.“That’s a thief. ”he thought and took his gun and shot at him. Then he went back to bed because he was too frightened to go out of the house in the dark.
The next morning Donald went out and saw one of his white shirts hung on the clothes line in garden. His wife had washed shirt the day before and hung it out to dry. Now it had a bullet hole right through the middle of it.
“My God, ”said Donald,“if I had been wearing that shirt, the bullet would have killed me. ”
我很幸運
唐納德看到花園裏有白色的東西。那東西看起來還在向房子移動。“那是個賊吧。”他想著，然後拿起槍朝對方射擊。然後他回到床上，因為他很怕在一片漆黑中走出房子。
第二天早上，唐納德走出家門，看到他的一件白襯衫掛在晾衣繩上。他妻子昨天剛剛把這件襯衫洗完，掛在那裏晾幹。現在白襯衫上麵有個彈孔。
“我的天哪，”唐納德說道，“如果我穿著那襯衫，子彈就射中我了。”
Two men who lived in a small village got into a terrible dispute that they could not solve. So they decided to talk to the town sage.
The first man went to the sage’s home and told what happened. When he finished, the sage said,“You’re absolutely right. ”
The next night, the second man called on the sage and told his side of the story. The sage responded,“You’re absolutely right.”
Afterward, the sage’s wife scolded her husband,“Those men told you two different stories and you told both they were absolutely right. That’s impossible—they can’t both be absolutely right. ”
The sage turned to his wife and said,“You’re absolutely right.”
你絕對沒錯
住在一個小村裏的兩個人發生了嚴重爭執，他們誰也無法解決，於是決定去找鎮裏的長老。
第一個人到了長老家裏，將事情的前後經過說了一遍。然後，長老說：“你絕對沒錯。”
第二天夜裏，第二個人也去拜訪那個長老，也把事情的來龍去脈說了一遍。長老回答說：“你絕對沒錯。”
之後，長老的妻子就責罵丈夫說：“那兩個人對你說了兩個不同的故事，你都說他們絕對沒錯。那是不可能的——他們不可能都絕對沒錯。”
長老轉向妻子說：“你絕對沒錯。”
A man is trying to build an electric motor car. He worked in an office in the town during most of week, but on Saturdays and Sundays he stayed at home in the country and worked on his electric car. Every Monday he told his friends at the office about his work on the car, but his news about it was never very good. Then at last one Monday morning he came to the office and said to his friends,“I have done it! I have driven from my home to here by electricity!”
His friends were all very glad.“How much did it cost to get here by electricity？”they asked.
“Two hundred and five pounds. ”He answered,“Five pounds for the electricity, and two hundred pounds for the electric wires from my house to the car.”
我成功了
有個人在試著做一輛電動車。他一周大部分時間都在城裏的辦公室工作，而周末兩天就待在鄉下的家裏研究他的電動車。每周一他都會把他的最新進展告訴辦公室裏的朋友，不過他一直都沒帶來什麼好消息。後來，終於在上周一的早晨，他來到辦公室對他的朋友們說：“我成功了！我用電把車從我家開到了這兒！”
他的朋友們都十分高興。“那用電把車開到這兒花了多少錢啊？”他們問道。
“兩百零五鎊。”他答道，“電費五鎊，從我家接到汽車上的電線花費兩百鎊。”
Dick lived in a small town in England.He always stayed in England for his holidays, but then last year he thought,“I’ve never been outside this country. All my friends go to Spain, and they like it very much, So this year I’m going to there too.”
First he went to Madrid and stayed in a small hotel for a few days.On the first morning he went out for a walk. In England people drive on the left, but in Spain they drive on the right. Dick forgot about this, and while he was crossing a busy street, a bicycle knocked him down.
Dick lay on the ground for a few seconds and then he sat up and said,“Where am I？”