“They always give the bigger piece to the other person.”answered his aunt at once.
“Oh. I see. ”said John. He thought about this for a few seconds.
Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,“Cut this cake in half, Catherine.”
紳士
約翰今年七歲，他的妹妹五歲。一天，媽媽去一個大城市買新衣服的時候，順便把他們倆帶到了姑媽家去玩。
兩個孩子玩了一個小時左右，四點半的時候姑媽把約翰領進了廚房。她給了他一塊看起來很誘人的蛋糕和一把小刀，跟他說：“約翰，這兒有把小刀，你可以用它把蛋糕切成兩半，然後分一半給你妹妹。但是一定要記住表現得像紳士一樣哦。”
“像個紳士一樣？”約翰疑惑地問，“紳士會怎麼做呢？”
姑媽立刻回答道：“紳士們總是把大的一半給對方啊。”
約翰說：“哦，知道了。”然後，他又認真思考了一會兒。
接著，他把蛋糕給了妹妹，告訴她說：“凱瑟琳，你把蛋糕切成兩半吧。”
When Clark was a boy, he never did what he was told, so his father always told him to do the oppsite of what he wanted him to do.
One day, when they were bringing sacks of flour home on their donkeys, they had to cross a shallow river. When they were in the middle of it, one of the sacks on Clark’s donkey began to slip, so his father said,“That sack is nearly in the water! Press down hard on it!”His father of course expected that he would do the opposite, but this time Clark did what his father had told him to do. He pressed down on the sack and it went under the water. Of course, the flour was lost.
“What have you done, Clark!”his father shouted angrily.
“Well, father.”said Clark,“This time I thought that I would do just what you told me to show you how stupid your orders always are.”
愚蠢的命令
當克拉克還是個孩子的時候，他從來都不聽家長的話，所以他的爸爸總是告訴他做相反的事情。
一天，他們倆牽著毛驢馱著幾袋麵粉走在回家的路上，他們得穿過一條小河。當他們倆走到河中央的時候，克拉克牽著的驢背上的一袋麵粉開始下滑，所以他的爸爸告訴他：“那袋麵快掉到河裏了！使勁把它弄下去吧！”他的爸爸當然希望他反著做，但是這一次克拉克竟然照做了。他使勁把那袋麵按下去，麵袋順勢掉進了河裏。當然了，麵粉全廢了。
“克拉克，看你做的好事！”他的爸爸生氣地喊道。
“好吧，爸爸，”克拉克無奈地說，“我想這一次我就聽你一次，證明一下你的命令總是那麼愚蠢。”
In Sunday school, the minister was trying to illustrate the word “miracle”.“Boys and girls,”he said,“suppose I stood on the roof of a ten‐story building, lost my balance and fell off. Then all of a sudden in midair, a whirlwind swept me up and rought me safely to the ground. Now what word would you use to describe this？”
After a long silence a boy raised his hand and said,“Luck.”
“True, true.”replied the minister,“It could be luck—but that’s not the word I wanted. I’ll repeat the story. There I am on top of the ten‐story building again, and I fall. A whirlwind catches me in midair and places me safely on the ground. Think now—what word would describe the situation？”
“Accident.”cried out one girl.
“No, no.”answered the minister,“Listen carefully for the third time. I’m on the same building; I fall and am swept to safety by a sudden whirlwind. What word could account for my safely reaching the ground？”
The boys and girls shouted in unison,“Practice!”
論奇跡
在主日學校裏，牧師正舉例說明“奇跡”一詞的意義。“孩子們”，他說：“假如我站在一座十層高的樓頂上，失去平衡掉了下來。在跌落到半空中時，突然刮陣旋風，把我舉起來，使我安全著陸。想想看，該用什麼詞來描繪這件事？很長時間沒有人回答。後來一個男孩舉手說：“運氣。”
“好吧，好吧，”牧師回答說：“可以說是運氣，不過那不是我想要的詞。我再講一遍這個故事。我還是在一座十層高的樓頂上，從上麵摔下來。一陣旋風在中把我托住，使我安全返回地麵。好好想一下，該用什麼詞來描繪這一情景呢？”
“意外。”有個女孩大聲說。
“不對，不對，”牧師說：“你們仔細聽，再聽一遍。我還是在那座樓頂上，摔下來時被一陣突然刮來的旋風托住，轉危為安。用什麼詞來解釋我安全返回地麵這事？”
孩子們齊聲叫道：“反複練習！”
Tommy hated school and was always looking for excuses not to go. If he sneezed, he asked his mother to write a note saying he had a cold. If he had a headache, he asked his mother to take him to the doctor during school hours. He spent more time at home than he did at school. On the days that he did go to school, he looked for excuses to come home early.
One morning he came home when the lessons only half finished. His father was surprised, and said,“You have come home early. Is the school closed today？”
“No, dad.”Tommy said,“It’s open. I came home early. ”
“How did you do that？”his father asked him,“What did you say to the teacher？”
“I told her that I had a new baby sister and that I had to come home and help you.”
“But your mother has had twins, ”his father said,“A girl and a boy. You have got a baby sister and a baby brother. ”
“Yes. I know dad,” Tommy said,“Iu0027m saving up my baby brother for next week. ”
借口
湯米討厭上學，他總是找各種借口逃學。隻要他打了個噴嚏，他就要他的媽媽寫便條跟老師說他得了重感冒。隻要他有一點兒頭疼，他就要他媽媽在上課時間帶他去看大夫。他待在家裏的時間遠多於學校。要是他實在不得不上學去，他就會找借口提前回家。
一天上午他剛上了半節課就回家了。他的爸爸驚訝地問他：“你怎麼這麼早就回來了啊，難道今天學校關門？”
“沒有啊，爸爸，”湯米回答說，“學校開著呢，隻不過我提前回來了。
“你怎麼做到的呢？”爸爸好奇地問他，“你怎麼跟老師說的啊？”
“我告訴她媽媽生了個小妹妹，我不得不回來幫你的忙。”
“但是你媽媽明明生了個雙胞胎啊，”爸爸說，“你有一個小妹妹和一個小弟弟啊。”
“是的，我知道，爸爸，”湯米說，“我準備下個星期用我的小弟弟做借口。”
Three boy scouts were fishing in a boat, suddenly they heard someone crying for help. They found that someone fell into the river, who was just struggling. So they jumped into the river to rescue him. It was with much efforts that they managed to drag him onto the band.
They didn’t recognize the man they saved that Bill Clinton recovered himself. The president really appreciated that they saved his life and he asked that what he could do for them.
“Of course, I want to pay a visit to the White House.”the first boy said.
“No problem.”Bill said,“Then how about you？”Bill asked the second boy.
“I want to travel by Air Force One.”The second boy answered.
“All right. I will make it prepared tonight.”Bill promised.
“I would like you to arrange me to be buried in the Arlington.”the third boy said.
“I am sure that I can satisfy you.”Bill said with a smile,“but my boy , you are too young to worry about this, OK？”“No, you don’t know my father.”the third boy said,“He will kill me if he finds that I saved your life.”
克林頓河中獲救
一天，三個男孩童子軍正在船上釣魚，這時他們聽到有人喊救命。順著救命聲傳來的方向望去，他們發現有人掉進了河裏，那人正在拚命掙紮。他們立馬跳進河裏去救他，費了好大的勁終於把他拉到了河岸上。
直到比爾·克林頓醒過來，他們才意識到他們救的是美國總統。克林頓很感激他們救了自己的命，問孩子們他能為他們做些什麼。
“太好啦，我想參觀白宮。”第一個男孩說。
“沒問題，”比爾說。“那你呢？”比爾問第二個男孩。
“我想坐‘空軍一號’旅遊。”男孩回答。
“好的，我今晚就讓人準備。”比爾承諾。
“我希望我死後你能安排我被葬在阿靈頓國家公墓。”第三個男孩回答。
“我保證滿足你。”比爾笑著說，“但是，孩子，你還太小，還不必擔心這個，好嗎？”
“不，你不了解我父親，”男孩接著說，“他要是知道我救了你的命，肯定會殺了我的！”