“It isn’t. ”was the reply,“It only takes grandpa’s goose up to their middles!”
不深
一個騎馬的過路人來到一條他不熟悉的河邊。
他問一名少年這條河深不深。
“不深。”男孩答道。騎馬人就開始過河，但他很快就發現他和馬要想活命就得遊過去。
當這個遊客到達河對岸時，轉過身喊道：“我想你說過河不深吧？”
“不深，”孩子答道，“它僅能淹沒我爺爺養的鵝的半個身子。”
A school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad.“Now, children,”she said,“has anyone of you ever make someone else glad？”
“Please, teacher,”said a small boy,“I’ve made someone glad yesterday.”
“Well done. Who was that？”
“My granny. ”
“Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandfather glad. ”
“Please, teacher. I went to see him yesterday, and stayed with him for four hours. Then I said to him, ‘Grandpa, I’m going home.’And he said,‘well, I’m glad!’”
讓別人高興
一個學校的老師在對學生講使別人高興的重要性。“現在，孩子們，”她說。“你們當中有誰讓別人高興過？”
“我，老師，”一個小男孩說，“昨天我就使別人高興過。”
“好孩子。現在告訴我們，你是怎樣使你爺爺高興的？
“是這樣的，老師。我昨天去看他，在他那兒待了四個小時。然後我跟她說：‘爺爺，我要回家了。’他說：‘啊，我很高興！’”
Each Sunday the minister called the children to the front of the church while he told them a story. Once he brought a telephone to better illustrate the idea of prayer.
“You talk to people on the telephone and don’t see them on the other end of the line, right？”he began. The children nodded yes. “Well, talking to God is like talking on the telephone. He’s on the other end, but you can’t see him. He is listening though. ”
Just then a little boy named Jim stand piped up and asked,“What’s his number？”
和上帝通電話
每周日牧師都會把孩子們叫到教堂前跟他們講一個故事。有一次他帶來一部電話，以便更好地解釋祈禱是什麼意思。
“你打電話給別人但是看不到電話另一端的人，是嗎？”他開始解釋。孩子們點頭同意。“那麼，和上帝談話就像通電話一樣，上帝在電話的另一端，但是你看不到上帝，可是他在聽你說。”
就在這時，一個叫吉姆的小男孩站起來大聲問：“上帝的電話號碼是多少？”
Nursery school teacher says to her class,“Who can use the word‘definitely’in a sentence？”First little girl says,“The sky is definitely blue. ”
Teacher says,“Sorry, Betty, but the sky can be grey, or orange ... ”
Second little boy says,“Trees are definitely green.”
“Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown... ”
Little Jack from the back of the class stands up and says,“Does a fart have lumps？”
The teacher looks horrified and says,“Jack! of course not!!!”
“OK. Then I DEFINITELY have shit in my pants...”
絕對
幼兒園的老師對班上小朋友說：“有誰可以用‘絕對’一詞造一個句子？”
第一個小女孩說：“天空絕對是藍的。”
老師說：“不，貝蒂，天空也有可能是灰色或橙色的。”
第二個小男孩說：“樹絕對是綠的。”
“可是秋天時，樹會是褐色的。”
坐在教室後排的小傑克站起來說：“放屁的時候會不會有硬塊？”
老師一臉恐懼地說：“傑克，當然不會！”
“好，那在我褲子裏絕對有大便！”
One day, the father let the seven‐year‐old son send a letter, the son took the letter and ran away, and then did the father remember not to write the address and name on the envelope.
After the son came back, the father asked him,“Have you thrown the letter into the mail box？”“Certainly. ”
“Haven’t you seen there was no address and name on the envelope？”
“Certainly l see there was nothing. ”
“Then why don’t you take it back？”
“I just thought that the reason why you do not write the address and the addressee is that you don’t want to let me know who you’ll send the lettert to!”
聰明的兒子
有一天，父親讓七歲的兒子去寄一封信，兒子已經拿著信跑走了，父親才想起信封上沒寫地址和收信人的名字。
兒子回來後，父親問他：“你把信丟進郵筒了嗎？”
“當然。”
“你沒看見信封上沒有寫地址和收信人的名字嗎？”
“我當然看見信封上什麼也沒寫。”
“那你為什麼不拿回來呢？”
“我還以為你不寫地址和收信人，是為了不想讓我知道你把信寄給誰呢！”
Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got？
Jimmy: four！
Teacher: No, listen carefully again. If I give you one rabbits and one rabbits and another one rabbits, how many rabbits have you got？
Jimmy: four！
Teacher: Let’s try another way. If I give you one apples and one apples and another one apples, how many apples have you got？
Jimmy: three.
Teacher: Good. Now if I give you one rabbits and one rabbits and another one rabbits, how many rabbits have you got？
Jimmy: four!
Teacher: How on earth do you work out that three lots of one rabbits is four？
Jimmy: Iu0027ve already got one rabbit at home now!
四隻兔子
老師：“如果我給你一隻兔子，加一隻兔子，再加一隻兔子，那你有多少隻兔子？”
吉米：“四隻！”
老師：“不對，再仔細聽一遍。如果我給你一隻兔子，加一隻兔子，再加一隻兔子，那你有多少隻兔子？”
吉米：“四隻！”
老師：“讓我們換種說法。如果我給你一個蘋果，加一個蘋果，再加一個蘋果，那你有幾個蘋果？”
吉米：“三個。”
老師：“很好。現在如果我給你一隻兔子，加一隻兔子，再加一隻兔子，那你有多少隻兔子？”
吉米：“四隻！”
老師：“你到底怎麼把三組一隻兔子加成四隻的？”
吉米：“我家裏現在已經有一隻啦！”
A train stopped at small station. A man looked out of the window and saw a woman selling cakes. People from the train were buying them. The man wanted to buy a cake, but the woman was standing far from the window and it was raining. The man didn’t want to go out in the rain.
Suddenly he saw a boy. The boy was walking on the platform not far from him.“Come here, boy,”the man said,“do you know how much those cakes are？”“Five cents for each .”the boy answered .
The man gave the boy ten cents and asked him to buy two cakes.“One for me and one for you .”A few minutes later, the boy came back. He was eating a cake. He gave the man five cents and said,“There was only one cake left.”
隻剩一塊蛋糕了
火車停在了一個小車站，一個男人朝窗外看了看，看見一個婦人正在賣蛋糕。車上的人都紛紛下去買蛋糕。這個男人也想買，但是車窗離那個婦人太遠了，而且外邊還下著雨，這個男人可不想冒著雨去買。
忽然他看見了一個小男孩，這個男孩走在離他不遠的那個月台上。“過來，小孩兒，”這個男人說，“你知道那些蛋糕多少錢嗎？”“五美分一塊。”男孩說。
然後這個男人給了男孩十美分，讓他去買兩塊蛋糕。“一塊給你，一塊給我。”幾分鍾後，男孩吃著蛋糕回來了。他還給了男人五美分，說：“那兒隻剩一塊蛋糕了。”
John was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt’s house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.
The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took John into the kitchen. She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him,“Now here’s a knife, John. Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister, but remember to do it like a gentleman.”
“Like a gentleman？”John asked,“How does gentleman do it？”