“Although you are the youngest, you are indeed the cleverest of my sons.”the old merchant said.
最聰明的兒子
從前一位老商人有三個兒子。
“我要把自己的財產留給誰呢？”他想，“一定要給最聰明的那個兒子。可誰最聰明呢？”
他把三個兒子叫到身邊，對他們說：“給你們一些錢，你們必須各自拿一枚硬幣去買一件東西，這件東西要能充滿整個房間。誰能做到這一點，誰就可以擁有我的財產。”
“那是一個大房間。”大兒子說。
“一枚硬幣買不了多少東西。”二兒子說。
但是，最小的兒子什麼也沒說。他想了一會兒，然後微微一笑說：“我們到市場上去吧。”
大兒子用那枚硬幣買了稻草，但一枚硬幣隻能買一點稻草。即便他盡可能地將稻草鋪開，那些稻草也隻是蓋住了房間的一個角。
二兒子用他那枚硬幣買了沙子。但是，一枚硬幣隻能買一點沙子。他盡可能鋪開那些沙子，沙子也隻是鋪了地板的一半。
“你買了什麼東西？”兩個年長的兒子生氣地問最小的兒子。
“你既沒有買稻草也沒有買沙子。”
“我買的是這個。”最小的兒子說。
“蠟燭！”兩個哥哥大聲叫道，“蠟燭有什麼用？”
“看。”最小的兒子說。
他點燃蠟燭，房間裏馬上充滿了亮光！
“盡管你年齡最小，但你的確是我最聰明的兒子。”老商人說。
23 Don’t Worry
Frank and Grace, an old couple who own a small business, are sitting together on an airplane flying on their first vacation to Europe. Halfway through their trip the Captain announces:
“Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m afraid I have some terrible news.We’re experiencing engine trouble and this plane will be forced to land immediately! Luckily, I see an island below us that should be able to accommodate our landing.”
A few minutes later the plane lands safely on the island and everyone deplanes and begin the task of figuring out what to do next. After a while old Frank turns to his wife and says,“This island appears to be uncharted and desolate. In fact the Captain is unable to find it on any of his maps. So the odds are that we will never be rescued and will have to live on the island for a very long time, if not for the rest of our lives! This is horrible, simply horrible!”
After a few minutes, his wife Grace asks,“Did we pay our quarterly Federal income tax yet?”
“No. What a silly thing to ask now!”says Frank.
She replies,“Did you remember to mail off our State taxes before we left?”
“No, I forgot to send the check, so what! Let them rot!”
“One last thing. ”says Grace,“Did you remember to send property tax check this month?”
“Nope, I’m afraid that I forgot that one too! And your point is?”
Maybelle begins to grin.“So what are you smiling about!?”an exasperated Frank asks.
“They’ll find us!”says Grace.
不必擔心
弗蘭克和格瑞絲夫婦開了一家小企業，現在正乘坐飛機第一次前往歐洲度假。飛行途中，機長說道：
“女士們、先生們，我想我得告訴大家一個可怕的消息。我們的飛機發動機發生了故障。這架飛機必須得馬上著陸！幸運的是，我看到了我們下麵有一座島，這樣我們就可以在那裏著陸了。”
幾分鍾後，飛機安全降落在那座小島。大家都下了飛機，然後盤算著下一步該怎麼辦。過了一會兒，老弗蘭克轉向妻子說：
“這座小島好像沒有在地圖上標記，而且非常荒涼。其實，機長在他的任何地圖上都找不到這座小島的位置。因此，我們永遠也不可能獲救。我們將不得不在這裏生活很長時間。要是獲救不了，就得在這裏度過後半生！這真是太可怕了！”
幾分鍾後，他的妻子格瑞絲問道：“我們繳過了這一季度的聯邦所得稅了嗎？”
“沒有，現在問這傻事幹嘛？”弗蘭克說。
他的妻子回答說：“我們離開前，你記得郵寄我們的州稅了嗎？”
“沒有，我忘記寄支票了，那又怎麼樣？我們別管那些了！”
“最後一件事，”格瑞絲說，“你記得寄我們這個月的財產稅發票了嗎？”
“沒有，恐怕那個我也忘記了！你到底想說什麼？”
格瑞絲抿嘴笑了起來。“你為什麼還笑？！”弗蘭克惱火地問道。
“他們會找到我們的！”格瑞絲說。
24 The Servant’s Ruse
A man was expecting a visit from an acquaintance. He gave two ripe mangoes to his servant and asked him to slice them and serve the fruit when the man came.
The servant gave in to temptation and ate a slice. It was so sweet he could not resist eating another one. Then the madness of gluttony seized him and he devoured all the remaining pieces.
Suddenly he saw the man his master was expecting coming towards the house. He thought fast. He grabbed a rusty knife and rushing to his master told him that he couldn’t cut the mangoes as the knife was blunt .
“I’ll sharpen it. ”said his master and going to a stone in the garden began to rub the cutting edge of the knife against it.
Leaving him to the task the servant ran out to meet the man who was coming.
“Beware! Beware! ”he said when he reached him,“Don’t come to our house. My master has gone mad. He’s planning to cut both your ears. ”
“Cut my ears! ”exclaimed the man, turning pale,“Why? ”
“There he is sharpening the knife.”said the servant. The man saw that his host did indeed have a knife in his hands and was sharpening it with what looked to him like a maniacal fury. He did not wait to find out why his host wanted his ears. He turned around and started running away as fast as he could.
The servant rushed back to his master and told him that the man he had invited was running away with the mangoes.
“What!”said his master,“The greedy fellow! Has he taken both the mangoes? ”
“Yes.”said the servant.
The man ran after the acquaintance shouting,“Give me one! Give me one at least!”
The other man thought he was asking for one of his ears and ran for his life!
仆人的詭計
一個男人正在等熟人來做客。他給仆人兩個熟了的芒果，叫仆人切好，客人來時把芒果端上來。
仆人忍不住了，吃了一片。芒果太甜了，仆人忍不住又吃了一片。然後，仆人壓抑不住狂吃的欲望，狼吞虎咽地把剩下的所有芒果片全部吃完了。
突然，仆人看到主人等待的那位客人從遠處走來。他靈機一動，想出一招。仆人抓了一把生鏽的刀，急忙跑到主人那裏告訴主人，刀鈍了切不動芒果。
“我來磨刀。”主人說，主人走到花園的石頭旁開始磨刀。
把磨刀的事交給了主人，仆人跑出去迎接走過來的客人。
“當心！當心！”仆人走過去說，“千萬別來，主人瘋了，他準備把你的兩個耳朵割下來。”
“割我的耳朵！”客人大叫，嚇得臉色蒼白，“為什麼？”
“他在那裏磨刀呢。”仆人說。客人看見主人確實正在磨刀，神情看上去像是狂怒。客人沒有等著弄明白主人為什麼要割他的耳朵，就轉身拚命跑。
仆人急忙跑回來告訴主人，他邀請的客人拿著芒果跑了。
“什麼！”主人說，“這個貪婪的家夥！他把兩個芒果都拿走了嗎？”
“是的。”仆人說。
主人追趕客人，喊道：
“給我留一個！至少得給我留一個！”
客人還以為是要他的一隻耳朵，就趕緊逃命了！
25 A Rick Does Long Way
A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trashcan they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action.
The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said,“You kids have a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like that. In fact, I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor? I’ll pay you each a dollar if you’ll promise to come around every day and do your thing. ”The kids were elated and continued to do a bang‐up job on the trashcans.
After a few days, the old‐timer greeted the kids again, but this time he had a sad smile on his face.“This recession’s really putting a big dent in my income,”he told them.“From now on, I’ll only be able to pay you 50 cents to beat the cans.” The noisemakers were obviously displeased, but they accepted his offer and continued their afternoon ruckus.
A few days later, the wily retiree approached them again as they drummed their way down the street.“Look,”he said,“I haven’t received my Social Security check yet, so I am not going to be able to give you more than 25 cents. Will that be okay? ”“A lousy quarter? ”The drum leader exclaimed.“If you think we’re going to waste our time, beating these cans around for a quarter, you are nuts! No way, mister. We quit! ”And the old man enjoyed peace and serenity for the rest of his days.
一招解決大問題
一個精明的老頭，退休後在一所初中旁買了一套不大不小的房子，頭幾個星期住得還安靜滿意。接著新學期到了，開學的第二天下午，三個年齡不大的男生，帶著放學的那股高興勁軋著馬路，見著垃圾桶就要敲打一番，敲得可帶勁了。猛烈的打擊聲日複一日吵個不停，最後老頭決定采取行動。
第二天下午，那幾個男孩子又一路敲打走過來，老頭走到街上跟這幾個年輕的打擊手見麵。把他們叫住後，老頭說：“你們這幾個孩子玩得真帶勁。你們這樣帶勁我沒有一點意見，其實，我在你們這麼大的時候也經常這樣幹。幫我個忙好嗎？如果你們每天過來敲的話，我就給你們每人一美元。”聽完，孩子們得意地繼續敲打垃圾桶。
幾天後，老頭跟孩子們再次見麵，可這次老頭的臉上露出的是悲傷的表情。“這次經濟衰退讓我的工資大縮水，”他告訴那幾個孩子，“今後，你們敲垃圾桶我隻能給五十美分了。”這幾個製造噪音的家夥顯然不高興，但還是接受了這個價錢，下午的喧鬧繼續著。
又過了幾天，幾個男孩又一路敲打著走來，這個狡猾的退休老人再一次跟他們遇見。“你們看，”他說，“我到現在還沒有收到社保支票，我隻能付給你們每人二十五美分。你們看可以嗎？”“就二十五美分？”孩子中的霸王叫囂著，“你要是認為我們就為了二十五美分到處敲這些垃圾桶來浪費時間，你就是個大傻帽！沒門，先生。我們不幹了！”這之後，老頭過上了安寧平靜的生活。