“My goldfish died,”replied Cathy tearfully, without looking up,“and I've just buried him. ”
The neighbor was concerned,“That’s an big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?”
Cathy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied. “That’s because he’s inside your cat. ”
埋金魚
小凱西在花園裏鏟土填坑，鄰居在籬笆外看到了。鄰居不知道這個神情沮喪的小女孩在做什麼，就關切地問：“凱西，你在那兒做什麼呀？”
“我的小金魚死了，”凱西低頭哭著回答，“我剛剛把金魚給埋了。”
鄰居關心地問：“就埋一條小金魚挖那麼大的坑？”
凱西拍了拍最後一撮土回答說：“那是因為小金魚在你們家那隻貓的肚子裏。”
16 Perfect Project
My friend Debbie was enrolled in a flower‐arranging class. Although she enjoyed the course, Debbie was miffed when week after week the instructor criticized and redid her careful arrangements.
After the final lesson, though, Debbie came home triumphant. “The teacher didn’t lay a finger on my project tonight!”she announced to her husband.
“Congratulations!”her spouse replied,“It must have been perfect. ”
“It was,”Debbie said, smiling modestly,“I made it with thistles. ”
完美設計
朋友黛比到一個插花班上課。盡管她喜歡這門課，但當指導老師一周又一周地批評她並把她精心插好的花重整一遍時，她有點兒生氣。
而上過最後一次課後，黛比得意洋洋地回到了家裏。“老師今晚對我的設計一根指頭也沒動！”她對丈夫大聲說道。
“恭喜恭喜！”她的丈夫回答說，“那一定是非常完美。”
“是這樣，”黛比麵帶微笑謙虛地說，“我做的是帶刺的。”
17 Two Hundred Times
In the traffic court of a large mid‐western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge’s eye.“You are a school teacher, eh?”said he,“Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write‘I went through a red light’two hundred times. ”
兩百遍
在中西部一個大城市的交通法庭上，一位女士因開車闖紅燈被帶到法官麵前受審。女士解釋說自己是老師並請求法官快一點結案，自己還得趕回去上課。突然，法官的眼神流露出狂喜。“你是老師啊？”法官問，“這位女士，我可以實現畢生的抱負了。坐到那張桌子後麵，把‘我闖了紅燈’幾個字寫上兩百遍。”
18 Who on earth Lost
Jonathan likes gambling very much. Once he gambled with his boss, saying,“A mole is on your chest, if you don’t believe it. Let’s bet $500 on it. ”
The boss said seriously,“Give me your money. ”Saying that, he took off his clothes, as a matter of fact, nothing was on his chest. The boss got the money happily. He told one of his colleagues that he beat Jonathan in gambling.
His colleague got angry, saying,“Stop it. He gambled with me, he said he could make you take off your clothes in five minutes. And the price was $1000. ”
到底誰輸了
喬納森非常喜歡打賭。一次他和他的上司賭了起來：“你胸前有一塊胎記，不信我們賭500塊錢。”
上司非常嚴肅地說：“把錢拿出來吧，你輸了！”說著他脫下了衣服。他的身上真的什麼也沒有。上司得意地收了錢，然後他跟一位同事說他和喬納森打賭贏了。同事非常喪氣地說：“別提了，他剛才跟我打賭，他說他能在五分鍾內讓你脫下衣服，賭現金1 000塊。”
19 The Eager Beaver
Bill was a new employee at the insurance office, but in a short time all his fellow workers began to complain about him.
“He’s an eager beaver.”protested one worker,“He does so much work that it makes all of us look bad.”
“What’s he trying to do?”wailed another employee,“Get a promotion?”
Three weeks later Bill was called into the office of the personnel manager.
“Bill, you’re a good worker, but I have had news for you.”
announced the manager,“We’ll have to lay you off.”
“Why? I don’t understand. I do more work than all the staff put together.”
“That’s the trouble.”
“The staff has nothing to worry about. I’m not going to take away their jobs.”
“I’m not worried about their jobs. I’m worried about mine.”
工作狂
比爾是一家保險公司的新雇員，但是很短一段時間後，他的同事們都開始抱怨他。
“他是一個工作狂。”一位職員抗議道，“他做了太多的事情，使得我們其他所有人都顯得工作不夠多。”
“他到底想幹什麼？”另一個雇員附和道，“想升職嗎？”
三周之後，比爾被人事經理叫到辦公室。
“比爾，你是一名好員工。但是，我有一個壞消息要告訴你，”經理對他說，“我們必須解雇你。”
“為什麼？我不明白，我做的工作比其他所有員工加起來做的都多。”
“這正是問題所在。”
“同事們不用擔憂，我不會搶走他們的工作。”
“我不擔心你搶走他們的工作，我擔心你搶走我的飯碗。”
20 Two Soldiers
Two soldiers were in camp. The first one’s name was Cody, and the second one’s name was Dick.
Cody said,“Have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Dick?”
Dick said,“Yes, I have. ”And he gave them to him.
Then Cody said,“Now I haven’t got a pen. ”
Dick gave him his, and Cody wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said,“Have you got a stamp, Dick？”Dick gave him one.
Then Dick got up and went to the door, so Cody said to him,“Are you going out?”
Dick said,“Yes, I am. ”And he opened the door.
Cody said,“Please put my letter in the box in the office, and...”He stopped.
“What do you want now?”Dick said to him.
Cody looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, “What’s your girlfriend’s address? ”
兩個士兵
兩個士兵在軍營裏，一個叫科迪，另一個叫狄克。
科迪說：“狄克，你有紙和信封嗎？”
狄克說：“有。”然後他把紙和信封遞給了科迪。
科迪又說：“我現在沒有筆。”
狄克把自己的筆給了科迪，科迪開始寫信，然後將信裝進信封裏，說：“狄克，你有郵票嗎？”狄克遞給科迪一張郵票。
狄克站起身，向門外走去，科迪問他：“你要出去嗎？”
狄克說：“是的，我要出去。”然後推開了門。
科迪說：“請幫我把信投到郵筒裏，然後……”他欲言又止。
狄克對他說：“你現在又想讓我為你做什麼？”
科迪看著信封，回答道：“你女朋友的地址是什麼？”
21 Fishing with a Mirror
A man saw a fisherman standing in a lake with a mirror.
“Excuse me, ”he said,“but could you tell me what you’re doing?”
“I’m fishing. ”
“With a mirror?”the man asked.
“Sure~it’s a new invention. I’m going to make a fortune. ”
“Could you tell me how it works?”
“Okay, but it’ll cost you ten dollars. ”
The man was so curious that he handed the fisherman the money.“Now show me how it works.”he said.
“Well, ”the fisherman began,“you aim the mirror into the water, and when a fish goes by, you startle him with rays of light reflected from the mirror. The fish gets confused and then you grab him. ”
The man was shocked,“You can’t mean to tell me that’s how you fish. It’s ridiculous! How many have you caught?”
“You’re the sixth today！”replied the fisherman.
用鏡子釣魚
一個人看到一個漁夫拿著鏡子站在湖裏。“對不起，”他說，“你能告訴我你在做什麼嗎？”
“我在釣魚。”
“用鏡子釣魚？”這個人問道。
“當然——這是一項新發明。我打算發大財。”
“你能告訴我鏡子是怎樣釣魚的嗎？”
“行，但這要花費你10美元。”
這人非常好奇，就把錢遞給了漁夫。“現在告訴我鏡子是怎樣釣魚的。”他說。
“好，”漁夫開口說道，“你把鏡子對著水照。當魚遊過時，鏡子反射的光會使它大吃一驚。趁它困惑時，你就一把抓住它。”
這人大為震驚：“你該不會告訴我，你就是這樣釣魚的吧。真荒唐！你已經釣了多少條？”
“今天你是第六條！”漁夫回答說。
22 A Large Hole
There was a farmer who lived near a road.
It was not a busy road, but from time to time, cars passed the farm.
Near the farm gate, there was a large hole in the road. This hole was always full of water, and the drivers of the cars could not see how deep the hole was. They thought it was probably shallow. Then when they drove into the hole, they could not drive out because it was so deep.
The farmer did not spend much time working on his farm. He spent most of it watching the hole. When a car drove into it, he pulled the car out with his tractor and charged the driver a lot of money for doing this.