“You have a three-star restaurant in Japan， the famous chef with all the awards—and he’s not only preparing the food， he’s preparing it for you，”says David Kinch， the chef and owner at Manresa， in Los Gatos， California. Kinch， who once worked in Japan， and he tells me that my meal at Ishikawa is how it’s done in Japan. “He actually hands it to you. He asks you， ‘How are you？ Are you enjoying it？ Is it to your liking？’ It’s a sense of hospitality that comes across as 17）genuine， not as part of a training program，” says Kinch.
A job means more than just checking off a couple of boxes. According to Masaru Watanabe， the executive director and general manager of the Palace Hotel Tokyo， a grand hotel overlooking the grounds of the 18）Imperial Palace， it demands an emotional commitment. “Although Japanese hospitality， or what we call omotenashi， has developed a reputation outside of Japan as being a 19）benchmark for exceptional service， it can be very difficult to define.” says Watanabe. “To me， it is hospitality that’s extended with the utmost sincerity， grace and respect， however big or small the gesture or the task. Not to be mistaken with the other， perhaps m o r e c o m m o n l y experienced version of service， which is superficial service delivered out of a sense of obligation and with an expectation of reward.”
I experienced that one night when I went for a 20）nightcap at the New York Bar on the top floor of the Park Hyatt Tokyo， where I was staying. The staff reopened the bar—even though it was well after last call—because it was my birthday. How did they know？ My mother had a cake delivered to my room earlier， and it seemed the entire hotel was notified. Looking out over the blinking red lights that punctuate the Tokyo skyline， with a long pour of a Yamazaki single 21）malt， I thought about what might have happened at a similar hotel in London or Paris： I would have been given a 22）courteous but firm no， possibly offered a glass of Champagne in the lobby or my room. It’s a safe bet the hotel wouldn’t have reopened its marquee bar for one last $14 whisky.
According to Merry White， author of Coffee Life in Japan and professor of anthropology at Boston University， what I experienced at the Park Hyatt Tokyo was an example of omoiyari. “It means the active sensitivity to other people，”she tells me. “It anticipates the needs and desires of other people. It’s not broad-brush， it’s fine-tuned.” White explains that omoiyari is taught to children and praised in school. When the staff reopened the bar for me， it was because they could tell it would make me happy to play out my Lost in Translation fantasy.