All Japanese children have toys。Fathers and mothers and all the circle of friends and relatives make or buy dolls and all their appurtenances for the children，and among poorer people they cost practically nothing。Little children play housekeeping，wed-dings，and festivals with them，after arguing out just what the“right”grown-up proce-dures are，and sometimes submitting to mother a disputed point。When there are quar-rels，it is likely that the mother will invoke，noblesse oblige and ask the older child to give in to the younger one。The common phrase is，“Why not lose to win？”She means，and the three-year-old quickly comes to understand her，that if the older child gives up his toy to the younger one the baby will soon be satisfied and turn to something else；then the admonished child will have won his toy back even though he relinquished it。
Besides the techniques of admonition and teasing，distracting the child and turning his mind away from its object has an honored place in child-rearing。Even the constant giving of candies is generally thought of as part of the technique of distraction。As the child gets nearer to school age techniques of“curing”are used。If a little boy has tan-trums or is disobedient or noisy his mother may take him to a Shinto or Buddhist shrine。The mother's attitude is，“We will go to get help。”It is often quite a jaunt and the cu-ring priest talks seriously with the boy，asking his day of birth and his troubles。He re-tires to pray and comes back to pronounce the cure，sometimes removing the naughtiness in the form of a worm or an insect。He purifies him and sends him home freed。“It lasts for a while，”Japanese say。
Besides these means of dealing with obstreperous children，there are conventions for teaching necessary physical skills。There is great emphasis on the instructor's putting chil-dren with his own hands physically through the motions。The child should be passive。
In the traditional teaching of writing，too，the instructor took the child's hand and made the ideographs。It was“to give him the feel。”The child learned to experience the controlled，rhythmic movements before he could recognize the characters，much less write them。In modern mass education this method of teaching is less pronounced but it still occurs。The bow，the handling of chopsticks，shooting an arrow，or tying a pillow on the back in lieu of a baby may all be taught by moving the child's hands and physi-cally placing his body in the correct position。
Except among the upper classes children do not wait to go to school before they play freely with other children of the neighborhood。In the villages they form little play gangs before they are three and even in towns and cities they play with startling freedom in and out of vehicles in the crowded streets。They are privileged beings。They hang around the shops listening to grown-ups，or play hopscotch or handball。They gather for play at the village shrine，safe in the protection of its patron spirit。Girls and boys play together un-til they go to school，and for two or three years after，but closest ties are likely to be be-tween children of the same sex and especially between children of the same chronological age。These age-groups，especially in the villages，are lifelong and survive all others。
These pre-school children's gangs are very free with each other。Many of their games are unabashedly obscene from a Western point of view。The children know the facts of life both because of the freedom of grown-ups'conversation and because of the close quarters in which a Japanese family lives。Besides，their mothers ordinarily call attention to their children's genitals when they play with them and bathe them，certainly to those of their boy children。The Japanese do not condemn childish sexuality except when it is indulged in the wrong places and in wrong company。Masturbation is not re-garded as dangerous。“Children，”the Japanese say，their eyes smiling benignantly，“know no shame。”They add，“That is why they are so happy。”It is the great gulf fixed between the little child and the adult，for to say of a grown person，“He knows no shame”is to say that he is lost to decency。
The child learns in the home his attitudes toward the supernatural。The priest does not“teach”him and generally a child's experiences with organized religion are on those occasions when he goes to a popular festival and，along with all others who attend，is sprinkled by the priest for purification。Some children are taken to Buddhist services，but usually this too occurs at festivals。The child's constant and most deep-seated ex-periences with religion are always the family observances that center around the Buddhist and the Shinto shrines in his own home。The more conspicuous is the Buddhist shrine with the family grave tablets before which are offered flowers，branches of a certain tree，and incense。Food offerings are placed there daily and the elders of the family announce all family events to the ancestors and bow daily before the shrine。In the evening little lamps are lighted there。
The serious business of fitting a boy into the circumspect patterns of adult Japanese life does not really begin till after he has been in school for two or three years。Up to that time he has been taught physical control，and when he was obstreperous，his naughtiness has been“cured”and his attention distracted。He has been unobtrusively admonished and he has been teased。But he has been allowed to be willful，even to the extent of using violence against his mother。His little ego has been fostered。Not much changes when he first goes to school。The first three grades are co-educational and the teacher，whether a man or a woman，pets the children and is one of them。More empha-sis at home and in school，however，is laid on the dangers of getting into“embarrass-ing”situations。The job of their elders，indeed，is not，at this point，themselves to use ridicule on the children，but gradually to integrate the fact of ridicule with the moral les-son of living up to giri-to-the-world。The rules are particularistic and situational and a great many of them concern what we should call etiquette。They require subordinating one's own will to the ever-increasing duties to neighbors，to family and to country。The child must restrain himself，he must recognize his indebtedness。He passes gradually to the status of a debtor who must walk circumspectly if he is ever to pay back what he owes。
This change of status is communicated to the growing boy by a new and serious ex-tension of the pattern of babyhood teasing。By the time he is eight or nine his family may in sober truth reject him。If his teacher reports that he has been disobedient or disre-spectful and gives him a black mark in deportment，his family turn against him。If he is criticized for some mischief by the storekeeper，“the family name has been disgraced。”His family are a solid phalanx of accusation。
The girl's training up to this point does not differ in kind from the boy's，however different in detail。She is more restrained than her brother in the home。More duties are put upon her-though the little boy too may be nursemaid-and she always gets the little end of the horn in matters of presents and attention。She does not have the charac-teristic boys'tantrums，either。But she has been wonderfully free for an Asiatic little girl。Dressed in bright reds，she has played in the streets with the boys，she has fought with them and often held up her own end。She，too，as a child“knew no shame。”Be-tween six and nine she gradually learns her responsibilities to“the world”much as her brother does and by much the same experiences。At nine the school classes are divided into girls'and boys'sections，and boys make a great deal of their new male solidarity。They exclude girls and object to having people see them talking to them。Girls，too，are warned by their mothers that such association is improper。
Boys，however，have not yet，when they have learned jicho and giri-to-the-world，acquired all that is incumbent upon an adult Japanese male。“From the age of ten，”Japanese say，“he learns giri-to-his-name。”They mean of course that he learns that it is a virtue to resent insult。He must learn the rules too：when to close with the adversary and when to take indirect means to clear his honor。
For those boys who continue their schooling beyond the six-year elementary school the time when they are becoming responsible for giri-to-their-name falls when they are suddenly exposed to the fierce competition of middle-school entrance examinations and the competitive ranking of every student in every subject。There is no gradual experience which leads up to this，for competition is minimized almost to the vanishing point in ele-mentary school and at home。The sudden new experience helps to make rivalry bitter and preoccupying。Competition for place and suspicion of favoritism are rife。This com-petition，however，does not figure so largely in the life stories as does the middle-school convention of older boys tormenting the lower classmen。The upper classes of middle-school order the younger classes about and put them through various kinds of hazing。They make them do silly and humiliating stunts。Resentments are extremely common，for Japanese boys do not take such things in a spirit of fun。A younger boy who has been made to grovel before an upper-classman and run servile errands hates his tormentor and plans revenge。The fact that the revenge has to be postponed makes it all the more ab-sorbing。It is giri-to-his-name and he regards it as a virtue。
For those boys who do not go on to middle school，the same kind of experience may come in their Army training。In peacetime one boy in four was drafted，and the hazing of first-year recruits by second-year recruits was even more extreme than in the middle and upper schools。