Danglars opened his enormous eyes on hearing this gigantic joke.
“Very droll,” he muttered, “very droll indeed,” and he again began to carve the fowl, when Peppino stopped the baron’s right hand with his left, and held out his other hand.
“Come, now,” he said.
“Is it not a joke?” said Danglars.
“We never joke,” replied Peppino, solemn as a Quaker.
“What! A hundred thousand francs for a fowl!”
“Ah, excellency, you cannot imagine how hard it is to rear fowls in these horrible caves!”
“Come, come, this is very droll – very amusing – I allow; but, as I am very hungry, pray allow me to eat. Stay, here is another louis for you.”
“Then, that will make only four thousand nine hundred and ninety-eight louis,” said Peppino, with the same indifference. “I shall get them all in time.”
“Oh! as for that,” said Danglars, angry at his perseverance in the jest, – “as for that you will never succeed. Go to the devil! You do not know with whom you have to deal!”
Peppino made a sign, and the youth hastily removed the fowl. Danglars threw himself upon his goat-skin, and Peppino, reclosing the door, again began eating his pease and bacon. Though Danglars could not see Peppino, the noise of his teeth allowed no doubt as to his occupation. He was certainly eating, and noisily too, like an ill-bred man.
“Brute!” said Danglars. Peppino pretended not to hear him, and, without even turning his head, continued to eat slowly. Danglars’ stomach felt so empty, it seemed as though it would be impossible ever to fill it again; still he had patience for another half-hour, which appeared to him like a century. He again rose and went to the door.
“Come, sir, do not keep me starving here any longer, but tell me what they want.”
“Nay, your excellency, it is you should tell us what you want. Give your orders, and we will execute them.”
“Then open the door directly.” Peppino obeyed. “Pardieu! I want something to eat! To eat – do you hear?”
“Are you hungry?”
“Come, you understand me.”
“What would your excellency like to eat?”
“A piece of dry bread, since the fowls are beyond all price in this accursed place.”
“Bread! very well. Holloa, there! some bread!” he exclaimed. The youth brought a small loaf. “How much!” asked Danglars.
“Four thousand nine hundred and ninety-eight louis,” said Peppino; “you have paid two louis in advance.”
“What! one hundred thousand francs for a loaf?”
“One hundred thousand francs!” repeated Peppino.
“But you only asked one hundred thousand francs for a fowl!”
“We have a fixed price for all our provisions. It signifies nothing whether you eat much or little – whether you have ten dishes or one – it is always the same price.”
“What! still keeping up this silly jest? My dear fellow, it is perfectly ridiculous – stupid! You had better tell me at once that you intend starving me to death.”
“Oh dear, no, your excellency, unless you intend to commit suicide. Pay and eat.”
“And what am I to pay with, brute?” said Danglars, enraged. “Do you suppose I carry one hundred thousand francs in my pocket?”
“Your excellency has five million fifty thousand francs in your pocket; that will be fifty fowls at one hundred thousand francs apiece, and half a fowl for the fifty thousand.”
Danglars shuddered. The bandage fell from his eyes, and he understood the joke, which he did not think quite so stupid as he had done just before.
“Come,” he said, “if I pay you the one hundred thousand francs, will you be satisfied, and allow me to eat at my ease?”
“Certainly,” said Peppino.
“But how can I pay them?”
“Oh, nothing easier; you have an account opened with Messrs. Thomson and French, Via dei Banchi, Rome; give me a bill for four thousand nine hundred and ninety-eight louis on these gentlemen, and our banker shall take it.”
Danglars thought it as well to comply with a good grace; so he took the pen, ink, and paper Peppino offered him, wrote the bill, and signed it.
“Here,” he said, “here is a bill at sight.”
“And here is your fowl.”
Danglars sighed while he carved the fowl; it appeared very thin for such a round price. As for Peppino, he read the paper attentively, put it into his pocket, and continued eating his pease.