12
The basket was heavy and the bundle was large, but she lugged themalong like a person who did not f ind her especial burden in material th ings.Occasionally she stopped to rest in a mechanical way by sorne gate or post; and then, giving the baggage another hitch upon her f ull round arm, went steadily on again.
It was a Sunday morning in late October, abou t four m onths after Tes s Durbeyfield's arriv al at Trantridge, and so me few weeks su bsequent to the night ride in The Chase.The time was not long past daybreak, and the yellow luminosity upon the horizon beh ind her back lig hted the ridge towards w hich her face was set—the barrier of the vale wherein she had of late been a stranger—which she would have to climb over to reach her birth-place.The ascent was gradual on this side, and the soil and scenery differed much from those within Blake-more Vale.Even the character and accent of the two peoples had shades of differen ce, despite the amalg amating effects of a round-ab out railway; s o that, though less than twenty miles from the place of her sojourn at Trantridge, her na tive v illage h ad s eemed a far-away spot.The field-f olk shut in th ere traded northward and westward, travelled, courted, and married northward and westward, thought northward and westward; those on this side mainly directed their energies and attention to the east and south.
The in cline was the same down which d'Urberville had driv en her so wildly on that day in Ju ne.Tess went up the remainder of its length without stopping, and on reaching the edge of the escarpment gazed over the familiar green world beyond, now half-veiled in mist.It was always beautiful from here; it was terrib ly beautiful to Tess to-day, for since her eyes last fell upon it she had learnt that the serpent hisses where the sweet birds sing, and her views of life had been totally changed for her by the lesson Verily another girl than the simple one s he had been at home was she who, bo wed by thought, stood still here, and turned to look behind her.She could not bear to look forward into the Vale.
Ascending by the long white road that Tess herself had just laboured up, she saw a two-wheeled vehicle, beside which walked a man, who held up his hand to attract her attention.
She obeyed the signal to wait for him with unspeculative repose, and in a few minutes man and horse stopped beside her.
“Why did you slip away by stealth like this?”said d'Urberville, with upbraiding breathlessness; “on a Sunday morning, too, when people were all in bed！I only discovered it by accident, and I have been driving like the deuce to overtake y ou.Just look at th e mare.Why go o ff like this?You know that nobody wished to hinder your going.And how unnecessary it has been for you to toil along on foot, an d encu mber y ourself with this h eavy load！I have followed like a madman, simply to drive you the rest of the distance, if you won't come back.”
“I shan't come back, ”said she.
“I thought y ou wouldn't—I said so！Well, then, put up y our baskets, and let me help you on.”
She lis tlessly placed her basket and bundle w ithin th e do g-cart, an d stepped up, and they sat side by side.She had no fear of him now, and in the cause of her confidence her sorrow lay.
D'Urberville mechanically lit a c igar, and the journey was continued wi th broken unemotional conversation on the commonplace objects by the wayside.He had quite forgotten his struggle to kiss her when, in the early summer, they had driven in the opposite direction along the same road.But she had not, and, sat now, like a puppet, reply ing to his remarks in m onosyllables.After so me miles they cam e in view of the clu mp of trees b eyond which the v illage of Marlott stood.It was on ly then that her still face showed the least emotion, a tear or two beginning to trickle down.
“What are you crying for?”he coldly asked.
“I was only thinking that I was born over there, ”murmured Tess.
“Well—we must all be born somewhere.”
“I wish I had never been born—there or anywhere else！”
“Pooh！Well, if y ou did n't wish to co me to Tr antridge wh y did y ou come?”
She did not reply.
“You didn't come for love of me, that I'll swear.”
“It's quite true.If I had g one for love o'you, if I had ever sin cerely loved you, if I loved you still, I should not so loathe and hate myself for my weakness as I do now……My eyes were dazed by you for a little, and that was all.”
He shrugged his shoulders.She resumed—
“I didn't understand your meaning till it was too late.”
“That's what every woman says.”
“How can you dare to use such words！”she cried, turning im petuously upon him, h er eyes flashing as the latent spirit（of which he was to see more some day）awoke in h er.“My God！I could knock y ou out of the gig！Did it never strike your mind that what every woman says some women may feel?”
“Very well, ”he said, laughing; “I am sorry to wound you.I did wrong—I admit it.”He dropped into some little bitterness as he continued：“Only you needn't be so ever lastingly fling ing it in my face.I a m rea dy to p ay to t he uttermost f arthing.You k now y ou need not work in the f ields or the dairies again You k now you may clothe y ourself with the best, instead of in the b ald plain way you have lately affected, as if y ou couldn't get a ribbon more than you earn.”
Her lip lifted slightly, though there was little s corn, as a rule, in her large and impulsive nature.
“I have said I will not take any thing m ore fro m you, and I will no t—I cannot！I should be your creature to go on doing that, and I won't！”
“One would think y ou were a princess from your manner, in addition to atrue and original d'Urberville—ha！ha！Well, Tess, dear, I can say no more.I suppose I am a bad fellow—a damn bad fellow.I was born bad, and I have lived bad, and I shall die bad in all probability.But, upon my lost soul, I won't be bad towards you again, Tess.And if certain circu mstances should arise—you understand—in which you are in the le ast need, the l east difficulty, send me one line, and you shall have by return whatever you require.I may not be atTrantridge—I am going to London fo r a time—I can't stand the old wo man.But all letters will be forwarded.”
She said that she did no t wish him to drive her fur ther, and th ey stopped just under the clump of trees.D'Urberville alighted, and lifted her down bodily in his ar ms, afterwards placing her articles on the ground beside her.S he bowed to him slightly, her eye just lingering in his; and then she turned to take the parcels for departure.
Alec d'Urberville removed his cigar, bent towards her, and said—
“You are not going to turn away like that, dear?Come！”
“If you wish, ”she ans wered ind ifferently.“See how y ou've mastered me！”
She thereupon turned round and lifted her face to his, and remained like a marble term while he imprinted a kiss upon her cheek—half perfunctorily, half as if zest had not yet quite died out.H er eyes vaguely rested upon the remotest trees in th e lane wh ile the k iss was given, as though s he were nearly unconscious of what he did.
“Now the other side, for old acquaintance'sake.”
She turned her head in the sa me p assive way, as one might turn at th e request of a sketcher or hairdresser, and he kis sed the oth er side, his lip s touching ch eeks tha t were da mp a nd sm oothly chill as t he skin of th e mushrooms in the fields around.