They forced you to do your homework. You preferred to watch cartoons on television, but they knew you couldn't 7)make a career out of that. Unless you ended up 8)on welfare. They encouraged you to earn good grades and graduate from school. They didn't want you to sell 9)drugs for a living, without going to pharmacy school.
They lost so much sleep worrying about you, they haven't yet caught up. That's why they have to go to bed at 7 p.m. They'd have to sleep continuously for five years to make up for your 10)puberty alone.
They spent 11)a small fortune on you. Without you, they could have vacationed every year in the 12)Bahamas and bought a sports car—instead of that totally 13)uncool 14)station wagon. And they could have bought lots of 15)fancy appliances and furniture, items that are guaranteed to never 16)talk back or ask for 17)allowances.
They were so proud of you. Why do you think they took one billion photos of you? You weren't that cute. They even 18)snapped shots of you taking a bath, as though that was some big achievement. When you took your first step, they acted like you had walked on the moon. They wanted to tell everybody, even the 19)mail carrier. When you spoke your first word, they wanted to put an announcement in the newspaper. They wanted to call 20)CNN.
Consider yourself lucky if you have two parents or even just one. You can't replace a parent. You can't go to the store and buy one, even if you're as 21)loaded as Bill Gates.