But when night came--solemn night, and all the house was quiet,Margaret still sate watching the beauty of a London sky at such an hour,on such a summer evening; the faint pink reflection of earthly lights onthe soft clouds that float tranquilly into the white moonlight, out of thewarm gloom which lies motionless around the horizon. Margaret"s roomhad been the day nursery of her childhood, just when it merged intogirlhood, and when the feelings and conscience had been first awakenedinto full activity. On some such night as this she remembered promisingto herself to live as brave and noble a life as any heroine she ever reador heard of in romance, a life sans peur et sans reproche; it had seemedto her then that she had only to will, and such a life would beaccomplished. And now she had learnt that not only to will, but also topray, was a necessary condition in the truly heroic. Trusting to herself,she had fallen. It was a just consequence of her sin, that all excuses for it, all temptation to it, should remain for ever unknown to the person inwhose opinion it had sunk her lowest. She stood face to face at last withher sin. She knew it for what it was; Mr. Bell"s kindly sophistry thatnearly all men were guilty of equivocal actions, and that the motiveennobled the evil, had never had much real weight with her. Her ownfirst thought of how, if she had known all, she might have fearlesslytold the truth, seemed low and poor. Nay, even now, her anxiety to haveher character for truth partially excused in Mr. Thornton"s eyes, as Mr.
Bell had promised to do, was a very small and petty consideration, nowthat she was afresh taught by death what life should be. If all the worldspoke, acted, or kept silence with intent to deceive,--if dearest interestswere at stake, and dearest lives in peril,--if no one should ever know ofher truth or her falsehood to measure out their honour or contempt forher by, straight alone where she stood, in the presence of God, sheprayed that she might have strength to speak and act the truth forevermore.